Quirky Sex News

The best of the zaniest, weirdest news items about sex!

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The Quirkiest News Items of 2006
2006 News items courtesy of For The Girls - keeping you up to date with the sex news!

Nude calendar protests potholes
Residents of a small Canadian town have taken an unusual approach to protesting the state of their roads: they’ve released a nude calendar. The 2007 Highway 32 Pothole Calendar features local men and women baring all next to the significantly large holes in their roads, including one man naked in a canoe next to a pothole, and another planting potatoes in one. The Canadian Minister for Roads said it was a creative approach “but I don't think a calendar is going to rebuild a road. I think recommendation from my department in terms of priority will probably be a fairer gauge.”
- Canada.com, 1 December 2006

Hasselhoff makes penis threat
Actor David Hasselhoff has threatened his daughter’s boyfriend with emasculation if she is treated badly. Despite being a legendary lover himself, the internet celebrity feels that he needs to protect his 16 year old daughter. “If you hurt my daughter in any way, I will take you outside and I will cut your thing off,” Hasselhoff is reported to have said. “I have no problem spending the rest of my life in prison.”
- The Sun, 2 November 2006

Bigger penises by 3000
Evolutionist Oliver Curry has predicted that men will have larger penises and women will have firmer breasts in the year 3000. Curry works for Darwin@LSE, a think-tank that focuses on evolutionary theory. He made his predictions for a television show. He believes that humans will hit their evolutionary peak in 3000, with sexual selection creating a more beautiful, delicate version of humanity. Men will have larger penises and stronger jawlines, while women will have firmer breasts and hairless skin.
- The Sun, 17 October 2006

Surgery required after sex with hedgehog
A Serbian man needed surgery after an intimate encounter with a hedgehog. The man had been instructed by a witchdoctor to have sex with a hedgehog as a cure for premature ejaculation. Doctors had to surgically remove several spines from his penis. A hospital spokesman said: “The animal was apparently unhurt and the patient came off much worse from the encounter. We have managed to repair the damage to his penis.”
- Ananova, 18 September 2006

Man with two penises has one removed
A 24 year old Indian man named Sanjay has made headlines by booking in to have his extra penis removed. The man has an extremely rare case of diphallus, the scientific name for two dicks. Often the second penis is “rudimentary” but Sanjay has scored the jackpot because both organs function perfectly normally. Sanjay has lived with the condition all his life, but has decided to have the spare cock removed due to his impending marriage.
- Yahoo, 5 September 2006

Men dominate Britain’s first Masturbate-a-Thon
A public masturbation event, held for charity and filmed by Britain’s Channel 4 for a documentary, attracted mostly male participants. Around thirty men, including gays, transvestites and artist’s models, squashed into a small room to pleasure themselves. Aside from raising money for AIDS charity the Terence Higgins Trust, many participants said they were eager to break the taboos surrounding masturbation and wanted to encourage it as a legitimate form of sexual expression. A lone protestor stood outside holding placards. “Doesn't anybody draw a line anymore? I think it is immoral,” he said.
- The Observer, 8 August 2006

Garage door triggers erection
A British man says he’s too embarrassed to go outside because his neighbour’s garage door remote control gives him an erection. The man had a penile implant installed in Turkey to assist with impotence. The remote involuntarily triggers the implant, resulting in the man developing an erection whenever the neighbour drives up in his 4 wheel drive. The man furthered his embarrassment by going on national radio and discussing his problem. The radio host suggested he see a doctor.
- The Register, 20 July 2006

Batwoman turns lesbian
DC Comics have announced that the character Batwoman would return to the shelves, this time as a lipstick lesbian. The female superhero first appeared in 1956 but was killed off in 1979. This time around her alter-ego, Kathy Kane, will be a rich socialite who has a longstanding romantic attachment with an ex-police detective called Renee. Batwoman is the latest in a wave of modernized, diverse superheroes, including a Mexican Blue Beetle, a black Firestorm and an Asian The Atom. Conservatives denounced the move as promoting homosexuality to children.
- BBC, 1 June 2006

Naked Rambler gets nude on a plane
Steven Gough, the naturist famous for walking the length of Britain nude, has been arrested for stripping on a plane. Gough was traveling to Edinburgh to appear in court to challenge a contempt of court ruling, made during his trek across the country several months ago. He had boarded the flight fully clothed but had stepped into the toilet to strip and then refused requests by the stewards to put his clothes back on. He was subsequently arrested at Edinburgh airport and will be charged with breach of the peace.
- BBC, 18 May 2006

Man sends bomb to penis surgeon
A 25 year old Pennsylvania man has pleaded guilty to sending a bomb to a Chicago surgeon in revenge for his botched penis surgery. Brett Steidler had paid the doctor $8,000 for a penis enlargement. The procedure had resulted in complications which Steidler was "extremely unhappy" about. He constructed a home-made device from gunpowder - the bomb qualifies as a "weapon of mass destruction" - and sent it through the mail. The man's lawyer said he suffered from bipolar disorder and had gone "beserk".
- Post Chronicle (and others), 6 April 2006

Porn euros passed off as real cash
Police say several obviously fake euro notes have been successfully used to by cigarettes and other goods in Germany. The notes, created as a promotional item, feature photos of naked people, the word "eros" instead of "euro" and come in unusual denominations such as 300 and 600 euros. Nonetheless, one newsagent accepted the note, handing over 534 euros in change. "He told me it was a new type of note and I just figured I hadn't seen one before."
- Ananova, 14 March 2006

Couple arrested for sex outside mayor's office
An Argentinean couple have been charged with indecent exposure after they had sex in public in broad daylight. The couple stripped naked and proceeded to have sex on a park bench in front of the mayor's office in Bariloche. A crowd of spectators gathered and cheered them on, but police intervened, saying they were shocked. The couple demanded to be allowed to finish what they were doing. The woman said she had always fantasized about having sex in that location, while politicians were inside. Police described both as "otherwise two very respectable citizens."
- Ananova, 8 February 2006

News from the archives:

Orgasmic chocolate on it's way
Scientists are looking at ways to increase the levels of phenyl ethylalamine in chocolate bars. The brain chemical is released during sex and creates sensations similar to orgasm. Chocolate already contains around 600 mg of the chemical, which may explain why some people develop cravings for it. If they succeed in this endeavour it could make chocolate as good as, if not better than, sex, someone women have known for quite some time.
- Ananova, 23 May 2004

Rasputin's penis in sex museum
Russia has opened a new sex museum, with the prime exhibit being Rasputin's 12 inch pickled penis. Rasputin was murdered by Russian aristocrats because it was believed his cult-like sexual influence over the Czaress was too great, however it appears that his penis was preserved by those who held him in high esteem. The curator was particularly proud of the member saying: "Having this exhibit, we can stop envying America, where Napoleon Bonaparte's penis is now kept. Napoleon's penis is but a small pod - it cannot stand comparison to our organ of 30 centimetres."
- Mosnews.com, 1 May 2004

Nude Garden Statues Covered Over
After receiving 2 complaints from offended customers, the owners of a garden center in Tennessee covered nude concrete statues with velvet. The figures, which are prominent from the roadside, have since been selling very well. Locals have also been busy making off with the makeshift bikinis.
- CNN, 10 April 2004

Chinese Woman Grows Extra Breasts After Surgery
A 24 year old women ended up with two swellings growing on her stomach one year after having breast enlargement surgery. The growths, described as extra breasts, became so large she was embarrassed and had them surgically removed. The woman had undergone the breast augmentation at a small beauty salon which was unauthorized to perform any kind of plastic surgery.
- DPA, 1 April 2004

Man has 6 day erection
A man suffering from a form of priapism - a permanent erection - became something of a tourist attraction in the Dominican Republic. After he admitted himself to hospital with the complaint, doctors, nurses and other medical professionals traveled there to see it for themselves. The condition was not caused by Viagra, but was the result of a form of anemia, and surgery was required to fix the problem and prevent impotence.
- Ananova, 16 March 2004

Condom dash ends in fine
An Australian man has been fined $100 for driving while unlicensed, after police caught him in the middle of a mercy dash to help out his cousin. Lee Collinson, 24, had been ferrying condoms to his mate who had run out and was in urgent need of them. The magistrate said: "Carrying condoms to a mate who is in desperate need must be something much better than the good Samaritan ever did." Collinson said he would do it again. "My cousin is like a brother to me," he said. "And at least he was practising safe sex."
- SMH, 16 March 2004

Naked men arrested for distracting motorists
Two naked men were taken into custody in Pittsburgh because they stood naked on the roadside and distracted motorists. One of the men had been holding a cardboard sign over his lower body which read "Honk if you can see my testicles." They told police that they worked for a local radio station and it was a prank.
- Ananova, 12 February 2004

Runaway bride had something to hide
A Chinese arranged marriage didn't turn out quite according to plan when, six days after the wedding, the bride ran away. The wife was eventually tracked down to a neighbouring village by her farmer husband, who had paid 20,000 yuan for the marriage, however he then discovered that she was really a man. Police arrested the "bride". China's one child policy and cultural preference for male children has meant that arranged marriages are common.
- DPA, 12 January 2004

Happy penis song is not obscene
The Canadian Broadcast Standards Council has ruled that a song about a large penis is not obscene. Calgary's CJAY-FM had played a song called "Enormous Penis" by Da Vinci's Notebook, which included such witty lines as "I gotta sing and dance when I glance in my pants." One irate listener had made a complaint saying they were offended. The council said that "The discussion of penis size is not in and of itself sufficiently unequivocally a sexual matter that it can be said to be in breach of the code." The radio station said it's target audience was primarily young men who would enjoy such a song.
- Reuters, 16 January 2004

Rabbi creates porn redemption prayer
An Israeli rabbi has composed a special prayer to help Jews overcome guilt at looking at internet porn. "Please God, help me cleanse the computer of viruses and evil photographs which disturb and ruin my work, so that I shall be able to cleanse myself [of sin]." The rabbi has recommended that users recite the prayer when they log on, or when the intentionally (or otherwise) see net porn.
- Reuters, 22 January 2004

Erratic driving due to oral sex leads to drug charges
A man's erratic driving has led to numerous drug charges and embarrassment over why he was captured. Tyren Houston's swerving attracted the attention of police in Venice, California, who engaged him in a low speed chase through numerous parking lots. It turns out the man was distracted by his passenger who was administering oral sex. Once arrested, it was revealed the couple were in possession of crack cocaine marijuana, and were charged with drug trafficking.
- SunHerald.com, 18 December 2003

Soccer Defeat Caused By Porn
The Namibian women's football team's love of porn has been blamed for their 13-0 defeat against South Africa in an Olympic qualification game. Apparently the team had stayed up late watching porn films on the hotel's pay-per-view channel. The bill revealed they had watched six films, including Brave Gladiators, until the early hours of the morning.
- Ananova, 14 November 2003