Peacock Feather Butt Plug

Peacock feather buttplug
Buttplugs. We know what you’re going to say. Ho hum… stuff you shove up your ass.

But wait, anal afficionados! What if it had… a peacock feather on it?

Well, dang, you’d say. That would make it ultra-cool and very fantastic indeed! You could pretend you were a… a… peacock of some kind!

But wait! There’s more! How about a bunny tail butt plug? A pony tail butt plug? Or a fox tail butt plug? You could seriously head off into some kind of anal Narnia with these things.

All this cool stuff is from JT Stockroom

Anal Ring Toss

Anal ring toss
Just when you thought sex toy manufacturers had done everything when it came to stuff to stick up your ass, they go one better. Behold, the anal ring toss.

The designated “goalie” inserts the anal plug with the attached scoring pole into the butt. The players then attempt to throw one of the 3 plastic rings onto the pole. You score when your yellow ring successfully lands around the scoring pole in the goalie’s bum.

Ring. Toss. Anal. So many innuendoes I don’t know where to begin. But wait… I don’t even NEED to!

This will thrill your friends at parties.

It’s from the clever fetishy people at JT Stockroom.

Strip Clubs Revive The US $2 Note

2 dollar noteI’m not American and it was only relatively recently that I found out about the US superstition that $2 notes are unlucky.

Now it seems that strip clubs are helping to revive the popularity of the poor old $2 note.

Vendors say people are getting more comfortable with $2 bills.

One group that has embraced the note is the exotic dancing industry. Strip clubs hand out $2 bills when they give customers their change, and the bills end up in dancers’ garters and bartenders’ tip jars.

“The entertainers love it because it doubles their tip money,” says Angelina Spencer, a former stripper who is executive director of the Association of Club Executives, an adult nightclub trade group.

Strip clubs. Is there nothing they can’t do?

Source

Wine And Your Sexual Preference

An Italian winemaker has taken the unusual step of creating wines that also indicate sexual preference.

This week, Franco D’Eusanio, who operates an organic vineyard in the Abruzzo region, introduced the “masculine” red wine ‘Is,’ the feminine white wine ‘Ea’ and the rose ‘Id’, for those with uncertain or ambiguous inclinations. Each comes with a psychological test and a questionnaire on sexual behavior, the ANSA news agency reported.

He claims the wine and material will help consumers “look within themselves and discover their true sexual identity,” the report said.

Ah, wine. Is there nothing it can’t do? Although I must admit, I like red, white AND rose according to my mood and the weather…

Via.

Rampant Sex… And It’s ART

Image by Peter Fendi
I have to say, this would have to be one of the wilder erotic paintings I’ve encountered. It’s just so crazy, I love it. This water colour is by Peter Fendi, a Viennese painter who lived and worked in the early 1800s.

More acrobatic sex pictures here and here.

Postman Caught Wearing Other People’s Undies

A British postman is in trouble for theft, but there’s an amusing twist to this story. When his supervisors set a trap to catch him stealing from mail, they got more than they expected. Suspected of stealing women’s lingerie, they strip-searched him and discovered the man was wearing it.

British postal worker Matthew Furness, 35, was in a g-string from the $120 Bravissimo undies set.

Suspicious bosses had put the underwear in his van after an opened package was found in it.

Link.

More Sex With Inanimate Objects

Smiley vacuum for sexA while ago I blogged about a guy caught having sex with his bike (and how he was actually doing it in the privacy of his room, until the cleaners burst in and got offended).

Now a bunch of other guys have been sprung having intimate moments with inanimate objects.

A man in Wiltshire, England, has been arrested for having sex with a lamp post.

A couple of weeks ago a bloke was in terrible trouble for having sex with his vacuum cleaner.

The man was allegedly discovered naked, on his hands and knees, with his rude bits in the business end of a smiling Henry vacuum cleaner.

It lost him his job.

Meanwhile, another man was arrested for drunkenly attempting to have sex with a fence in a London park.

“He said words to the effect of: ‘I’m going to have sex with that fence’,” said Philip Lemoine, prosecuting.

The guy involved denies it, saying he’s a victim of police harrassment.

Something’s happening here, people. It’s further proof that the rapture is coming.

Actually, it’s just proof that some guys are so horny they’ll get it on with anything given the chance.

Good Sex Lasts Between 3-13 Minutes: Study

American researchers have conducted a survey of how long most people have sex and found that the average time was between 3 and 13 minutes.

It found that men often wanted to last longer than that but women weren’t really bothered about duration and essentially don’t give a damn.

Intercourse lasting between three and seven minutes was deemed “adequate”, but anything less was “too short” and beyond 13 minutes was “too long”.

The study, published today in the international Journal of Sexual Medicine, is designed help calm couples’ unrealistic beliefs that healthy sex should last a long time.

US studies show Americans expect penetrative sex to last between 15 and 20 minutes, even though self reports indicate it is over in less than half this time.

Lead researcher Dr Eric Corty, from the Behrend College in Erie, Pennsylvania, said this was a situation “ripe for disappointment and dissatisfaction”.

Link.

Dirty Limericks

A daring young woman named Alice
used a dynamite stick as a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And bits of her anus in Dallas.

There once was a plumber from Brie,
Who was plumbing a lass by the sea,
She cried “Plumber, stop plumbing,
There’s somebody coming!”
Said the plumber, still plumbing, “It’s me.”

On the chest of a barmaid at Yale
were tattooed the prices of ale,
and on her behind,
for the sake of the blind,
was the same information in Braille.

There was a young girl from Rabat,
who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding,
When she found she had no tit for Tat.

A couple named William and Ellie
spent their honeymoon belly-to-belly,
because, in their haste,
they’d used library paste
instead of petroleum jelly.

There once was a vampire named Mable,
whose periods were really quite stable.
And every full moon,
she’d get out a spoon
and drink herself under the table.

What I’d love is a wormhole in space
in a very particular place.
I’d try to contrive it
so one end’s at my privates
and the other’s attached to my face.

There was a young woman from Wheeling
Who professed to lack sexual feeling
Till a young lad named Boris
Barely touched her clitoris
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.

There once was a man from Japan
whose limericks just wouldn’t scan.
When asked why this was,
he answered, “Because
I always cram as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can.”

There once was a gal from Peru
whose limericks stopped on line two.

There once was a fellow from Xiangling
Whose greatest delight was in mangling
Poems. He would drop
Words between lines and lop
Their ends off, and leave readers dang

There once was a poet named Will
Who tramped his way over a hill
And was speechless for hours
Over some stupid flowers
This was years before TV, but still.

From this site.

Headline Of The Year

Best. Headline. Ever.

Police: Crack found in man’s buttocks.

Police searching a downtown home found a man hiding 15 plastic bags of crack cocaine in his buttocks.

“I’m ordering you to put your hands on your head and unclench your buttocks!”

The Dangers Of Breaching Urinal Etiquette

Urinal etiqutteIn New Zealand a man has been found guilty of assault after he punched another bloke in a urinal, reports Ananova. Apparently the altercation was over a “breach of urinal etiquette.” The punchee had looked at the puncher and smirked.

Sentencing Aldridge to 50 hours of community service, Judge Raoul Neave said: “This is exactly the sort of behaviour that makes people afraid to go to town.”

If you find yourself wondering about the exact niceties of urinal etiqutte, you may want to, ahem, bone up at the International Center for Bathroom Etiquette. After that, take this official urinal test.

Then you can play the Urinal Game!

Dirty Words In The Dictionary

The Naughty American has a great piece about the inclusion of new dirty words in the Oxford English Dictionary. Freshly added words include “boink,” “cock-block,” “cooch,” “cooze,” “pube,” “put out,” “starfucker,” “tonsil hockey,” and “ya-yas.”

The editors go through an exhaustive process when including new words and insist on seeing a published example of the word before it gets in. This is tricky when it comes to slang as you don’t often see those words in the newspaper, so they often rely on privately written documents or novels.

One find that’s been particularly useful in the older-sleaze department is “My Secret Life,” an anonymous memoir from 1890 that’s quoted in entries for “cock,” “come,” “condom,” “fist-fuck,” “frig,” “nymph,” “randy,” and “spunk.” In fact, this juicy source contains the first known use of “spunk” as a euphemism for semen: “It seemed to me scarcely possible, that the sweet, well dressed, smooth-spoken ladies … could let men put the spunk up their cunts.”

Likewise, certain authors are better sources for slang than others, including some big names such as gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson and sex-obsessed novelist Henry Miller.

Thompson is quoted in entries for “fist-fucker,” “fuck-off,” “gimp,” “hard-ass,” “mofo,” and “pussy-whipped,” while Miller gets cited for using “ass,” “boob,” “cunt,” “douche,” “horny,” “muff,” “pecker,” “prick,” “quim,” “twat,” and “whang.”

FBI Reveals Celebrity Sex Files

Marilyn Monroe nudeThe Naughty American has a cracking article about the recent release of classified FBI files that dishes plenty of dirt on numerous celebrities from the 40s, 50s and 60s.

To give a quick rundown:

* Abbot and Costello both kept a huge porn collection including lots of girl-girl films.

* Frank Sinatra once refused to pay a prostitute for sex because she was too drunk.

* A gay dermatologist claimed to have “compromising photos” of Elvis Presley

* Joe DiMaggio offered an unknown person $25 grand to obtain a film showing Marilyn Monroe performing a “perverted act.”

* Jimi Hendrix was caught masturbating by members of his platoon while serving in the army.

* The FBI caught Rock Hudson at a “wild orgy” during a raid on a brothel.

* Baseball star Mickey Mantle used prostitutes and was caught in the bed of a married woman.

The FBI also tried to prosecute Andy Warhol for transporting his film Lonesome Cowboy across state lines. The report read:

“One of the male actors was performing an act of cunnilingus on [a] girl who was on the ground. A second man was licking her breasts. A third male actor was trying to stick his hat up her rectum. A fourth actor was exposing himself and had his trousers dropped to his knees and trying to have her perform an act of fellatio on him.”

Needless to say, the stern-faced FBI was far from amused. Fortunately for Warhol, he escaped prosecution – on the grounds that “at no time did the camera show penetration.”

Ah, those were the days.

2007 Darwin Awards Get Sexy

You’ve probably heard of the Darwin Awards, those dubious gongs given to people who remove themselves from the gene pool by killing themselves in ridiculous ways.

The 2007 winners have been announced
and, amusingly, two sex-type anecdotes made the top 2.

RUNNER UP # ONE:
WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN (Confirmed Double Darwin Award)

June 2007, South Carolina | A passing cabbie found a 21 year-old deceased couple laying naked in the road an hour before sunrise. Authorities were baffled. There were no witnesses, no trace of clothing, and no wrecked vehicles present. But investigators eventually found a clue high on the roof of a nearby building: two sets of neatly folded clothes. Safe sex takes on a whole new meaning when you are perched on the edge of a pyramid-shaped metal roof. “It appears as if [they] accidentally fell off the roof,” Sgt. McCants said.

AND THE 2007 DARWIN AWARD WINNER IS…
THE ENEMA WITHIN (Confirmed True by Darwin)

May 2004, Texas | Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor… well, rectally. His wife said he was “addicted to enemas” and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party.

Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!

When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.

The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. Toxicology reports measured his blood alcohol level as 0.47%.

In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an “astounding misapplication of judgment.” Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.

Banning The Balls

Bulls ballsA politician from Virginia is trying to introduce legislation banning people from attaching fake rubber testicles to their cars.

Lionel Spruill, who most famously tried to ban young people from wearing baggy pants, says the car accessories are offensive. “It’s OK to express yourself, but citizens have the right not to be subjected to something vulgar,” he said. Spruill said he embarked on the campaign after receiving a complaint to a constituent, who did not like having to explain to his young daughter what the testicles were.

The maker of “Bulls Balls” which makes the testicles laughed off the attempted ban. “It’s a novelty,” he said. “It’s funny.”

Source.

History Of Humanity (With Sex And Violence)

The history of humanity
This is a snippet from an enormously large and long cartoon panel documenting the rise of civilisation. It graphically documents humankind’s rise from caveman through ancient times right up to the present, and it also lovingly adds explicit sex scenes and gruesome violence into the mix.

The pic is somewhat abhorrent but very compelling and beautifully drawn.

I can’t give any more info on this pic as I stumbled upon it while surfing and the blog on which its hosted is in German. Some random searching was no help.

Still, it’s very cool.