Gropecunt Lane

Grope laneCheck out this page which lists a bunch of very bad street names.

And “Grope Lane” offers the most fascinating explanation:

Gropecunt Lane was a name used in English-speaking towns and cities in the Middle Ages for streets where prostitutes conducted their business. At one point there were streets of this name in many cities in Britain and Ireland, though in most cases later sensibilities changed the name to some more polite variation.

The Femskin… Cue “Silence of the Lambs” Quotes

The Femskin
Some enterprising person has come up with a new and exciting sexual accessory for the lovely trans people among us: The Femskin.

Yes folks, it’s a silicon body sock-type-thing designed to make the wearer look female, complete with boobs and “lifelike” vulva. You can even buy a virginity-loss attachment called “The Cherry Popper.”

There’s something very disturbing about this, but perhaps that’s because of those “lotion” scenes from The Silence of the Lambs spring to mind. I also suspect that some trans people may consider it to be kind of offensive.

Caught Masturbating With A Jar Of Pasta Sauce

Some days the news just hands you stupid sex stories on a platter:

Man fined $600 for masturbating with a jar of pasta sauce. In his car.

When Weatherley was stopped, he refused to leave his car and four officers used batons and capsicum spray to get him out.

They found a 750mm jar around his penis and said Weatherley attempted to continue “pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling”.


By the way, this poor blog has been terriby neglected for several months while I worked on other projects and went overseas. I’m hoping to revive it with regular quirky sex posts from now on.

Boobs On Bikes Goes Ahead

Boobs on bikes parade in New Zealand
The annual New Zealand Boobs on Bikes parade went ahead despite various protests and attempts by politicians to ban it.

A high court judge found that banning the parade would violate the country’s Bill of Rights giving an entitlement to free speech.

It could be that I move to New Zealand in the future, once the happy clappers get control of Australia. Even though it’s pretty cold down there, at least they’re guaranteed their right to get their tits out.

The Madrid Penis Artist

Madrid Penis ArtistMetro reports on an unusual performance artist who is wandering the streets of Madrid in Spain. Jaime del Val doesn’t wear pants and has a camera attached to his penis. At night he projects images of his penis onto the walls of the city.

Like every red-blooded male he has a completely out-of-proportion view of his manhood. He shows off his penis because he says it’s a “means of power”.

He has staged his “performance” in front of Almudena Cathedral and at the Royal Palace in Madrid.

Commenters suggest he’s just a flasher with delusions of grandeur.

Priest Off Clergy Repellent

If you’re Catholic, look away now. Actually, if you’re Catholic, what are you doing reading my blog, you filthy pervert! That’s fifteen hail marys and a large diet coke, thank you.

This is a very amusing fake ad making fun of the very serious problem of priests abusing children. If only the solution were this simple.

Fighting For The Right To Be Topfree

The Topfree Equal Rights Association is a group of people fighting for a woman’s right to not wear tops in public.

Initially this sounds like a joke, like some kind of smutty schoolboy idea, but they’re actually dead serious. And when you start to read about the issue, it starts to make a lot of sense.

A couple of quotes from the site:

If men (and any woman or gay man will testify that men’s chests can be “sexually alluring,” depending entirely on who the man is) are allowed to strip to the waist, women should be too. The fact that we aren’t is a purely cultural issue, not a sexual one—labelling flesh as “sexual” or “non-sexual” depending on the gender of its owner is nonsensical.

I like this one:

“This is a rebellion against a woman’s body being considered everywhere and always a sex object. As women we want the right for ourselves to decide when our breasts are sexual. That isn’t going to be in a swimming facility, and therefore they must not have to be covered. We want permission to bathe topfree, as men do.”

Makes me want to get my top off and man the barricades.

Wolf Whistles Actually Worked

A woman in New Zealand caught everyone out the other day when she stripped off her clothes in response to wolf whistles from men on a road repair site.

City News reports that an Israeli tourist was so sick of being harrassed with whistles every time she went by that she decided to “show them what I’ve got.”

While withdrawing money from an ATM, she stripped naked and presented herself to them. Then she calmly took her cash, got dressed and strolled off. The men were stunned into silence.

The police took her in for a little chat. She explained her position and no charges were laid. The wolf whistles have stopped.

What’s interesting about this is that this woman’s strange logic has done the trick. She’s laid the sexism of these men bare. She’s just turned around and made them take a bit of a look at themselves and hopefully made them a bit ashamed.

Still, I doubt that this is going to become the female defence of choice against on-the-street sexual harrassment.

The Pogo Stick With A Dick

Pogo stick with a dickSo… someone sat down one day and said “Hey… pogo sticks are fun, but I think they’re missing a vital sexual element. Indeed, nothing says sexy like a pogo stick with a dick”

And thus the Fantasy Glide was born.

Well, that’s probably not really how it happened but who cares. The Fantasy Glide is one helluva weird sex toy but it’s also kinda fun.

The official blurb says:

The user simply ‘pogos’ up and down on the pole’s handle to achieve vaginal, or anal, penetration and stimulation.

The FantasyGlide is not a modified toy. Taking over two years to design and perfect, it meets the standards of a highly refined instrument, using aircraft parts, super-durable and unbreakable nylon, and anodized aluminum that meets the demanding requirements of the medical community. For instance, numerous springs were tested during development to achieve the proper balance between ease-of-use and penetration capability.

Available from JT Stockroom.

No Pants Day 2008

Flash mob group Improv Everywhere held its annual No Pants Day today. In the past it was just a secretive thing but it’s been heavily publicised so it was even on the news here in Australia.

Interestingly, the TV show SVU has ripped off one of their other ideas, the “Grand Central Freeze” and used it in a recent episode – without permission or credit. Seems that some desperate writers are stealing stuff from Youtube.

Anal Ring Toss

Anal ring toss
Just when you thought sex toy manufacturers had done everything when it came to stuff to stick up your ass, they go one better. Behold, the anal ring toss.

The designated “goalie” inserts the anal plug with the attached scoring pole into the butt. The players then attempt to throw one of the 3 plastic rings onto the pole. You score when your yellow ring successfully lands around the scoring pole in the goalie’s bum.

Ring. Toss. Anal. So many innuendoes I don’t know where to begin. But wait… I don’t even NEED to!

This will thrill your friends at parties.

It’s from the clever fetishy people at JT Stockroom.

Strip Clubs Revive The US $2 Note

2 dollar noteI’m not American and it was only relatively recently that I found out about the US superstition that $2 notes are unlucky.

Now it seems that strip clubs are helping to revive the popularity of the poor old $2 note.

Vendors say people are getting more comfortable with $2 bills.

One group that has embraced the note is the exotic dancing industry. Strip clubs hand out $2 bills when they give customers their change, and the bills end up in dancers’ garters and bartenders’ tip jars.

“The entertainers love it because it doubles their tip money,” says Angelina Spencer, a former stripper who is executive director of the Association of Club Executives, an adult nightclub trade group.

Strip clubs. Is there nothing they can’t do?


Rampant Sex… And It’s ART

Image by Peter Fendi
I have to say, this would have to be one of the wilder erotic paintings I’ve encountered. It’s just so crazy, I love it. This water colour is by Peter Fendi, a Viennese painter who lived and worked in the early 1800s.

More acrobatic sex pictures here and here.

More Sex With Inanimate Objects

Smiley vacuum for sexA while ago I blogged about a guy caught having sex with his bike (and how he was actually doing it in the privacy of his room, until the cleaners burst in and got offended).

Now a bunch of other guys have been sprung having intimate moments with inanimate objects.

A man in Wiltshire, England, has been arrested for having sex with a lamp post.

A couple of weeks ago a bloke was in terrible trouble for having sex with his vacuum cleaner.

The man was allegedly discovered naked, on his hands and knees, with his rude bits in the business end of a smiling Henry vacuum cleaner.

It lost him his job.

Meanwhile, another man was arrested for drunkenly attempting to have sex with a fence in a London park.

“He said words to the effect of: ‘I’m going to have sex with that fence’,” said Philip Lemoine, prosecuting.

The guy involved denies it, saying he’s a victim of police harrassment.

Something’s happening here, people. It’s further proof that the rapture is coming.

Actually, it’s just proof that some guys are so horny they’ll get it on with anything given the chance.