Charles Bronson is just so incredibly… Mandom in this Japanese commercial. Shirtless, smoking a pipe, smothering himself in Mandom. Yeah baby.
I remember when Sir Mix-A-Lot’s song “Baby Got Back” was released. I hated it. I thought it was horribly sexist and I have never been a fan of rap.
But then I heard the line “My anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got buns hun.” And that was it, I could only laugh about it. This song is just so ridiculous that taking it seriously demands too much time and effort. It’s also praising large bottoms, and that’s always a nice thing.
And now I’ve discovered this amusing website that ascribes a literary history to this ode to big bums.
To these women I would speak clearly so that they understand my meaning, though I might be inclined to use somewhat of a poet’s speech for various parts of my phraseology in order to disguise the uncouth words that I would be forced to use in uttering such conciseness. Therefore, my mighty manhood might be likened to a snake, a large snake, though not a poisonous snake, for that would speak ill of the snake itself; rather, the snake would be so grand in size and prowess that it would be able to kill any easily who would threaten his territory, and the killing would be carried out by strangulation and suffocation within its coils. And this snake would, I would tell the woman, have no desire in her whatsoever: unless she possesses that of which I have been speaking for so long now.
Some days the news just hands you stupid sex stories on a platter:
When Weatherley was stopped, he refused to leave his car and four officers used batons and capsicum spray to get him out.
They found a 750mm jar around his penis and said Weatherley attempted to continue “pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling”.
By the way, this poor blog has been terriby neglected for several months while I worked on other projects and went overseas. I’m hoping to revive it with regular quirky sex posts from now on.
An Australian study has found that people who enjoy bondage and discipline sex play (BDSM) are “not damaged or dangerous, and might even be happier than those who practise ‘normal’ sex.”
The researchers found that around 2% of Australians were into BDSM.
“Our findings support the idea that bondage and discipline and sadomasochism (BDSM) is simply a sexual interest or subculture attractive to a minority,” Associate Professor Juliet Richters and her colleagues wrote in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
The findings showed that it was more common among gay, lesbian and bisexual people, and that participants were more likely to have been more sexually adventurous in other ways.
“However, they were no more likely to have been coerced into sexual activity and were not significantly more likely to be unhappy or anxious,” said Prof Richters, author of the book Doing It Down Under.
Unfortunately this bit of research probably won’t make any difference to Australia’s draconian censorship laws, which rule that BDSM in porn is perverted and is thus banned.
The annual New Zealand Boobs on Bikes parade went ahead despite various protests and attempts by politicians to ban it.
A high court judge found that banning the parade would violate the country’s Bill of Rights giving an entitlement to free speech.
It could be that I move to New Zealand in the future, once the happy clappers get control of Australia. Even though it’s pretty cold down there, at least they’re guaranteed their right to get their tits out.
The People has a rather interesting first-hand account of a 25 year old British girl who had a stroke moments after experiencing a particularly good orgasm with her boyfriend.
Laura recalled: “We were really going for it – it felt so good.
“We spent a lot of time in bed over the weekend but this was even more passionate.
“Suddenly I had a massive bodyshaking orgasm – the best I’d ever had.
“But immediately I felt numb down my right side. Then came an intense pain in my head and I couldn’t move.
“I tried to speak but I couldn’t make real words.
Police are looking for a woman who is performing pole dance strip acts on trains in Bucharest.
The woman only busks on longer journeys between outer suburbs. She switches on her portable CD player, which plays “You Can Leave Your Hat On” by Tom Jones, and then she performs pole moves on the center pole in the middle of the train, stripping as she goes. Once finished to dresses and passes around a hat, asking for donations.
Naturally people are up in arms in case children see it. As usual.
If caught she’ll be up for indecent exposure and public begging.
The Berowra fire brigade found itself faced with an unusual request recently when a man called for help because he had 16 metal washers around his penis. The man made the call at 3am, desperate to get the metal rings off his dick, although no explanation was given as to how or why they got there in the first place.
The man may well have thought long and hard about placing himself in the difficult situation.
Doctors took 90 minutes to remove the washers using fire brigade equipment.
A woman in New Zealand caught everyone out the other day when she stripped off her clothes in response to wolf whistles from men on a road repair site.
City News reports that an Israeli tourist was so sick of being harrassed with whistles every time she went by that she decided to “show them what I’ve got.”
While withdrawing money from an ATM, she stripped naked and presented herself to them. Then she calmly took her cash, got dressed and strolled off. The men were stunned into silence.
The police took her in for a little chat. She explained her position and no charges were laid. The wolf whistles have stopped.
What’s interesting about this is that this woman’s strange logic has done the trick. She’s laid the sexism of these men bare. She’s just turned around and made them take a bit of a look at themselves and hopefully made them a bit ashamed.
Still, I doubt that this is going to become the female defence of choice against on-the-street sexual harrassment.
But wait, anal afficionados! What if it had… a peacock feather on it?
Well, dang, you’d say. That would make it ultra-cool and very fantastic indeed! You could pretend you were a… a… peacock of some kind!