The Metro reports that an Austrian man has been jailed because he robbed a bank to pay for his transvestite lover’s breast enhancement surgery.
He was arrested soon after paying the plastic surgeon. Said doctor was suspicious because the guy was in such a hurry to hand over all the cash for the operation.
This scenario is very similar to that of Dog Day Afternoon starring Al Pacino.
I went searching for other “criminal boob job” news and found: Man-breast flash arrest: A British man was arrested for flashing because he has breast implants.
Breast implants motive for murder?: Apparently a woman was found guilty of murdering her husband because she used some of his insurance money to get a boob job.
Armed bandits in Brazil robbed a vehicle carrying more than 400 breast implants, officials have said.
“It happened last week, but we only learned about it recently as our clients started complaining. It is the hottest period of the year in terms of implant sales,” said Margaret Figueiredo, director of silicone implant manufacturer Silimed.
The Sun has a very amusing amateur video showing four Scots Guards sans-trousers, dancing around their barracks and drunkenly singing Twist and Shout.
The accompanying article says the guards had smuggled alcohol into the barracks and had something of a party.
The men, all thought to be from Glasgow, fondle each other dressed in nothing but their prestigious uniform and socks.
And in another X-rated clip — shot at their Chelsea barracks in London last Friday — the guard filming his three kinky colleagues performs a lewd sex act on one of them and spanks their bare backsides.
Well, jolly good, I say. Normally you only ever see Scots Guards standing stock-still in their redcoats and bearskin hats at Buckingham Palace. It’s a thrill just to see them move, but this is even better.
Great for a laugh.
Unfortunately they’ll probably lose their jobs for bringing shame on the uniform.
In the UK a man ruined the delightful ambience of a restaurant by leaping onto a table, screaming and weilding a large knife before cutting off his own penis.
“This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about. Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his penis out.
“Then he cut it off. I couldn’t believe it.”
Zizzi’s at the Strand in London is a pizza restaurant. Newspapers were tasteful enough to hold off on the chopped salami puns, but The Courier Mail still decided to go out on a limb with this headline:
The Z-series apparently features pulsating massage spray, power dryer, “tornado wash” flush, and an automatic lid.
It also boasts an “electric bidet accessory” which on three occassions has caught fire, potentially threatening a nasty case of “Machine Uprising Roast Arse”. Mercifully, the Z-series failed to fully exploit its new-found offensive capability, since the crappers were unoccupied at the time of the incendiary incidents.
This story reminded me of Will Smith discussing Japanese wonder toilets on the Michael Parkinson show. He said they had a special spray which always hit the bullseye, no matter where you moved on the seat.
And naturally I’ve done a bit of Googling and discovered the phrase “toilet wars.” Yep, this 2002 New York Times article reveals the Japanese are engaged in “ferocious toilet research”, trying to make the most technologically marvellous crapper in the world.
And apparently “talking toilets are on the horizon.”
Hmm. Apparently the taste of chocolate on the tongue is four times more thrilling than being kissed. The smooth brown stuff doubles the heart rate and stimulates the brain.
Scientists found the brain became significantly more active with choc sauce than a kiss.
Heart rates also increased - some from an average 60 beats a minute to a fast-pumping 140.
Both brain and heart increases were also more prolonged for chocolate than a canoodle.
You don’t get many photos like this in porn - this is a genuinely funny photo! This is Radka, and as you can see she’s keen to get nude. Good to see some flashing.
A look at my referrer stats reveals that some people have been finding the site via the term “jedi porn.” My first thought was “wha?” And then I started thinking about exactly what jedi porn would entail.
Would we see Jedi masters whipping off the long brown cloaks to reveal their own, fleshy lightsabers? (”I see your schwartz is as big as mine.”)
Would there be anti-gravity acrobatics involved?
Would the Jedi mind trick be common during BDSM scenes?
And of course, there’d have to be a certain amount of Jedi porn philosophy.
“Yes, a Jedi’s erection flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Stage fright, cocaine, viagra; the dark side are they.”
“The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It’s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It penetrates us a lot, actually.â€
Of course, the real reason people are searching for Jedi porn is the following video, featuring “porn stars” fighting with glowing, lightsaber dildos.
Naturally this video reminded me of the old classic “lost” clip featuring a stripper:
And then I was amused to find that someone had been having a lot of fun with their Star Wars Lego to create the Star Wars Hot Sex Series. Here’s episode 5:
Classic. I think the sound effects add that extra special something to the hardcore Lego action. The others in the series should be listed alongside.
And what post on Jedi porn would be complete without a link to Leia’s Metal Bikini. This fan site is devoted to admiring Carrie Fisher in that sexy metal outfit she wore in Return of the Jedi. There’s a lot of girls making those costumes and plenty of guys… er… admiring them.
The Sun has a very 
In the UK a man ruined the delightful ambience of a restaurant by leaping onto a table, screaming and weilding a large knife before cutting off his own penis.
Yep, there’s a visual image.
A look at my referrer stats reveals that some people have been finding the site via the term “jedi porn.” My first thought was “wha?” And then I started thinking about exactly what jedi porn would entail.
