So, last week a guy suffered second-degree burns because he decided to imitate a Jackass stunt and set his genitals on fire.
Jared Anderson and friend Randall Peterson were extremely drunk when the latter sprayed lighter fluid on Jared’s crotch and lit it. Anderson had volunteered to do the stunt and, according to this article (in which Jared tells his version of events) that wasn’t the plan. They were only going to singe his pubic hair.
This story is different to the official criminal complaint filed by Jared in which he says:
“I never gave anyone permission to light my balls (genitals) on fire. He was spraying me and I was on my way to the shower and he was making me jump and I went up in flames. Yeah, he was trying to harm me.”
In any case, this story got me looking for other examples of guys setting their genitals on fire.
There was the well-publicised case in 2000 of Thomas Hendry, the New Zealand guy who won a pub dare contest (“How Far Will You Go?”) by stapling his penis to a crucifix and setting it alight. The incident was broadcast on TV and caused a kerfuffle with the censors due to its graphic nature.
There was the Australian bloke who (again imitating Jackass) decided to put a firecracker between the cheeks of his bum and lit it. He suffered a fractured pelvis and severe burns to his genitals for his effort.
A British man did pretty much the same thing on Guy Fawkes day in 2006.
And then there’s this video of a dumb kid who decides it might be a good idea to hold a lit firework to his crotch:
I also found this completely unexplained video of a guy setting his dick on fire and then squealing a lot while his friends laugh.
And those wacky folks from the Raelians also have a video of a man with his dick on fire. I’m not sure why it’s in the interests of this religion to show flaming penises, but there it is.
There’s no nudity in this Youtube bit of crotch-burning, but it still illustrates the general stupidity required for this stunt.
And this one is just as dumb. I find myself almost hoping these guys will go up in flames and earn themselves a Darwin award.
In fact, the number of examples of guys doing this to themselves is kind of surprising. I mean, dudes. You’re setting your crotch on fire. What else did you think was going to happen?
In a less spectacular story, a scientist burnt his penis with a laptop due to the heat building up as it sat in his lap.
And in celebrity penis-burning, none-other than Jamie Oliver burnt his penis while cooking naked for his wife.
“It was on Valentine’s Day. I was naked in the kitchen and burnt my penis. I really ruined my evening – and my night.”
See, there’s a downside to being the Naked Chef.
The Urban Dictionary informs me that “Greek Fire” is a term for:
A sexual act where a man dips his penis into Grain Alcohol. He then lights his penis on fire and attempts to extinguish it in the colon of a man or woman.
Sounds like another made-up bit of sexual nonsense to me, but worth adding just to make this archive more complete.
OK guys, you can uncross your legs now.
Oh, and I should add the standard disclaimer: Don’t try this at home, folks.
Well… OK then. If you must…