Ah, the British. Masters of toilet humour.

Media outlets have been uncovering numerous examples of obscene imagery and dirty words showing up on Google Earth and Microsoft’s Virtual Earth.

The Sydney Morning Herald reports on:

* The word “Poo!” written with 20 metre high letters in a field in Edinburgh
* A 6 metre long phallus etched into grass with weed killer at a school near Southampton
* A giant penis drawn on the roof of a school at Stockton-on-Tees
* The word “ARSE” written in a field at Rotherham
* The word “FUCK” written with hay in a field at Barnsley

Check out Google Sightseeing for co-ordinates. They’ve also found a giant penis scratched into the surface of a frozen lake.

The story has produced some good headlines:
School surprised by 20ft penis
Penis prank can be seen from space (which would prompt the perpetrators to brag: “My cock can be seen from space!”)
Giant willy spotted on satellite (see below)

Australians are about to give the British a run for their money thanks to Google’s rather foolhardy decision to fly low over Sydney on Australia Day and invite everyone to come out and wave.

If I’d been there, I would have been tempted to do one of the following:
* Lie naked on the ground
* Hold up a sign advertising one of my websites.
* Draw something rude on the ground

I’m sure I’m not the only one who thought that.

Indeed, I can’t help but wonder how many examples there are of giant penises and swear words in the world at any one time. Thing is, if you are going to engage in a spot of vandalism, you might just as well go for the monster cock.

And now… since we’re talking giant willies spotted by satellite, I think it’s time to quote this scene from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
Colonel: What is it, son?
Radar Operator: I don’t know, sir, but it looks like a giant–
Jet Pilot: Dick! Dick, take a look out of starboard.
Co-Pilot: Oh my God, it looks like a huge–
Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker!
Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Where?
Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Oh goodness, it’s not a bird, it’s–
Army Sergeant: Privates! We have reports of an Unidentified Flying Object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with–
Baseball Umpire: Two balls! [looking up from game] What is that? It looks just like an enormous–
Colonel: Johnson!
Radar Operator: Yes, sir?
Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.

Woman: Oh my god, look at that! It looks just like my husband’s–
Carnival Worker: ONE-EYED MONSTER! Come see the One-eyed Monster!
One Eyed Monster: Oh my god, it’s a giant–
Chinese Teacher: Wang! pay attention!
Wang: Sorry, sir I was distracted by that giant flying–
Fan: Woody! Woody Harrelson! Could I have your autograph?

Posted by quirky in News Stories