Thanks to a comment on Ms Naughty blog I’ve been exposed to the rather fascinating world of slash fiction starring real people.
A George Michael fan called YogChick has been posting raunchy erotic fiction starring the former Wham! singer on her blog. A quick sample:
George reached behind his neck and pulled his t-shirt off. Then he took off his sweatpants, revealing that he wasn’t wearing any underwear. He had a nice, natural build, shaven chest, and a partially stoked penis. George sat on the other end of the couch.
“Come here and blow me,†he commanded.
I don’t know much about slash fiction, except that it’s traditionally been confined to fictional characters like Kirk and Spock, or Harry Potter and… every other male character in those books.
Writing erotic fiction starring celebrities is an interesting, and possibly litigous twist. It also creates mental images that the reader may not want to have. Nonetheless, real person slash is a whole genre within slash that many people find appealing.
You can find a whole heap of writers and links to RPS at the Stranger Than… fanlisting.
There’s a bit of commentary on the phenomenon at this blog.
I’ve found an article, the ten most disturbing band fan fiction stories, which looks at the trend.
The article lists stories with the following scenarios:
Bryan Adams shagging his guitarist
Avril Lavigne being ravished by Kittie
Eiffel 65 getting it on with each other
Linkin Park, ditto
Blink 182, ditto
The writers point out that the majority of music slash fiction revolves around boy bands, rather than hip hop acts. Perhaps a new genre awaits.
There’s another article about band fiction here.
PS. A bit more Googling led me into the world of wrestling slash fiction. Now that’s funny.
Posted by quirky as Quirky Sex at 10:48 PM UTC
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I’ve finally added a new category to the linklist: Balloons and Latex.
I originally intended it to just be balloons, but then it got complicated because looners are an offshoot of the latex lifestyle. I could have had two separate categories but I just thought to hell with it, I’m lumping them in together.
So now, here’s some hot latex and balloon galleries for you to enjoy.
Latex Nun from Latex by Anna
Sexy security guard in latex from Leather N Latex
Serena rides a giant balloon from Emma’s Balloons
Pic is from this Rubber Dollies gallery
Posted by quirky as Pics, Quirky Sex at 10:11 PM UTC
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After hearing what sounded like a woman’s screams, a Wisconsin man broke down the door of his neighbour’s apartment and threatened him with a sword. It turned out that the neighbour had been watching porn movies and the sword-wielding rescuer had interpreted the noise as rape.
Full story here.
And the moral of the story is… turn the volume down when watching porn movies.
Posted by quirky as News Stories at 5:06 PM UTC
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Two naked water skiers zoomed past the Queen Mary 2 as the giant ship docked in Sydney Harbour this morning.
[The photographer] Mr Guy, said he was “absolutely gobsmacked” when he realised he had nabbed the photo.
“I just barged through and snapped it - I was going through the pics later and thought ‘Oh, my God! I got them!’.
Love it. As far as I’m concerned, more big-name events like this need unscripted nudity.
I went looking for more info about nude water skiing, and didn’t have much luck. Lots of spammy pages, a few crappy humor sites, but not much else. I found was a site called Clothes Free TV which had numerous reports on naked water skiing, but they’re a membership site.
I did find this amusing account of a brave nude water skier at Invercargill in New Zealand:
Out in the bay, on what was one of the coldest days of the year, was a speedboat towing a water-skier who was, to put it bluntly, stark-b****ck naked. As he clung on (and not just to the rope, judging by the temperature) those in the boat waved to their mates in our restaurant.
Yes folks, I am happy to report that the man in the buff, at Bluff, was one of our own. All I can say is that while naked water-skiing may have been popular at one stage, the cracks are now beginning to show.
Assuming he survived the experience intact (and I am pretty certain a brass monkey would not have) our man and his friends would have witnessed another uninspiring performance from the Lions against Southlands…
Posted by quirky as News Stories, Pics at 8:45 PM UTC
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Here she is again, that sexy bald model from Latex By Anna. I just had to use her again because I love this photo. There’s something very “stag film” about it.
Pic is from this sexy Latex by Anna gallery.
Posted by quirky as Good Porn, Pics at 11:29 AM UTC
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For my female readers, here’s a Valentine’s themed illustrated story from For The Girls.
Hawaiian Valentine.
“I want the cliché,” she’d told him, and now here it was. Better than a romance novel or chick flick. The only thing missing was the soft focus.
Jo smiled, loving every second of her clichéd experience. They were strolling along a pristine beach, hand in hand. The sun was sinking majestically into the ocean, streaking the western sky with orange and crimson. The sea breeze was light and cool, the water was warm, and the sand between their toes was silken. They were alone with the sunset…
Read more…
Posted by quirky as News Stories at 10:29 AM UTC
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Some fascinating facts from the Book of Weird Sex:
* In medieval times one of the few grounds for divorce was sexual incompetence, which had to be demonstrated before a court
* In Romania men can be refused entry into the Orthodox priesthood if their members “don’t reach the minimum length set down in the rules”
* In 1980, the hoteliers of Majorca claimed that honeymooners were costing them over $1 1/2 million a year in beds damaged by their energetic amorous activities
* The ancient Syrian Queen, Seriramis, was so jealous of her accomplished lovers that she ordered the removal of their testicles. That way no other woman would be able to share the experience
* Dr. John Harvey Kellogg proclaimed his first breakfast cereal product as an antidote to masturbation
Posted by quirky as Quirky Sex at 10:23 AM UTC
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In Australia, Picture magazine is a soft porn title with plenty of nudity that sells well to truckers.
It’s also credited with coming up with the word “smoo”, which means a woman’s genitals.
Now, thanks to Jack Marx, I know how the word originated:
All such words were invented to baboozle the Office of Film and Literature Classification, who kept catching up to the latest word and banning it on our covers, thus necessitating a new word be invented to sneak past them next time, until they’d get wise to the new word, too. So, in a roundabout way, you can thank the OFLC for the litany of new offensive words in the Australian lexicon.
Ah the beauty of sticking it to the censors.
Posted by quirky as Quirky Sex at 5:15 PM UTC
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Wow. What a cool set of photos. It’s not often you see a woman in porn who is has shaved her hair off like this… and it’s very very sexy!
Pics are from this Latex by Anna gallery. I recommend you see them all, they’re quite fabulous!
Posted by quirky as Good Porn, Pics at 7:57 PM UTC
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The Bulgarians have decided that the best way to keep customers happy while waiting for a bus at night is to show them softcore porn.
A spokesperson said: “We wanted to give the passengers something to take their minds off the cold and to pass the time while waiting for a bus.”
I’ll bet people keep missing their bus because they want to see the end of the film. Either that or they’ll be rushing to get home, sliding all over the seats.
Why the hell didn’t they have this when I lived in the city?
Posted by quirky as News Stories, Quirky Sex at 6:44 PM UTC
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I hate going to the hairdresser. It’s never a pleasant experience. Sitting in front of a mirror under flourescent lighting for an hour while a perfectly made-up woman attacks you with scissors is not my idea of fun.
Now it seems like a kind of… icky idea as well. An upmarket hairdresser in Knightsbridge, London, is offering clients a conditioning treatment composed of Angus bull semen.
Ananova reports that they combine the semen with katera, a protein-rich plant, and massage it into your hair. You’re then put under a steamer and then blow-dried.
Salon owner Hari Salem said: “I have been searching for an organic product with a lot of protein because that is what hair is made of and lacks when it is dry.
“The semen is refrigerated before use and doesn’t smell. It leaves your hair looking wonderfully soft and thick.”
And, presumably, you’ll be irresistable to heifers.
The treatment costs 55 pounds, making it the ultimate money shot.
Posted by quirky as News Stories, Quirky Sex at 7:15 PM UTC
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Nice pic of amateur blonde babe Sammy Smack.
Pic taken from this gallery.
Posted by quirky as Good Porn, Pics at 4:31 PM UTC
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A rubber severed head and penis have been stolen from the set of the latest Silence of the Lambs prequel, Hannibal Rising.
Says director Peter Webber:
“There’s a character called Dortlich (Richard Brake), whose head is severed during the course of the movie, and that head was stolen by someone. There’s also a scene with a body that Hannibal Lecter (Gaspard Ulliel) is working on in one scene; it’s a full-size replica human body, including the genitals. Somebody stole the genitals. They actually cut them off and took them away. So someone has got a large rubber penis and a rubber head at home and I don’t know what they’re doing with it. I think it’ll end up on eBay.”
Shall we make some kind of joke about fava beans and a nice chianti?
Posted by quirky as Celebrities, News Stories, Quirky Sex at 7:10 PM UTC
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Ah, the British. Masters of toilet humour.
Media outlets have been uncovering numerous examples of obscene imagery and dirty words showing up on Google Earth and Microsoft’s Virtual Earth.
The Sydney Morning Herald reports on:
* The word “Poo!” written with 20 metre high letters in a field in Edinburgh
* A 6 metre long phallus etched into grass with weed killer at a school near Southampton
* A giant penis drawn on the roof of a school at Stockton-on-Tees
* The word “ARSE” written in a field at Rotherham
* The word “FUCK” written with hay in a field at Barnsley
Check out Google Sightseeing for co-ordinates. They’ve also found a giant penis scratched into the surface of a frozen lake.
The story has produced some good headlines:
School surprised by 20ft penis
Penis prank can be seen from space (which would prompt the perpetrators to brag: “My cock can be seen from space!”)
Giant willy spotted on satellite (see below)
Australians are about to give the British a run for their money thanks to Google’s rather foolhardy decision to fly low over Sydney on Australia Day and invite everyone to come out and wave.
If I’d been there, I would have been tempted to do one of the following:
* Lie naked on the ground
* Hold up a sign advertising one of my websites.
* Draw something rude on the ground
I’m sure I’m not the only one who thought that.
Indeed, I can’t help but wonder how many examples there are of giant penises and swear words in the world at any one time. Thing is, if you are going to engage in a spot of vandalism, you might just as well go for the monster cock.
And now… since we’re talking giant willies spotted by satellite, I think it’s time to quote this scene from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
Colonel: What is it, son?
Radar Operator: I don’t know, sir, but it looks like a giant–
Jet Pilot: Dick! Dick, take a look out of starboard.
Co-Pilot: Oh my God, it looks like a huge–
Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker!
Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Where?
Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Oh goodness, it’s not a bird, it’s–
Army Sergeant: Privates! We have reports of an Unidentified Flying Object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with–
Baseball Umpire: Two balls! [looking up from game] What is that? It looks just like an enormous–
Colonel: Johnson!
Radar Operator: Yes, sir?
Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.
Woman: Oh my god, look at that! It looks just like my husband’s–
Carnival Worker: ONE-EYED MONSTER! Come see the One-eyed Monster!
One Eyed Monster: Oh my god, it’s a giant–
Chinese Teacher: Wang! pay attention!
Wang: Sorry, sir I was distracted by that giant flying–
Fan: Woody! Woody Harrelson! Could I have your autograph?
Posted by quirky as News Stories at 2:39 PM UTC
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