I had fun doing the last post about weird sex products so I thought I’d do another one.

Ex Husband Voodoo Doll
“Stick the pin into the activity that you want your ex-husband to do, and instantly he will stop acting like an ass and behave properly.” Sounds like possible false advertising to me, but there’s still a lot of potential for anger management here. The doll is labelled with activities like “Stop lying about your affairs” and “Give me more money.”

X Rated Laser Pointer
Ever been annoyed by someone with one of those red laser things in a movie theatre or on a bus? Well, here’s something that’s even worse: the X-rated laser pointer actually creates words out of its yellow laser, and they’re oh-so-witty. Yep, you get the choice of four phrases - “Asshole”, “Nice Pussy”, “Shit Head” and “I Swallow.” (I guess that “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go” is a bit too long a phrase for the laser to handle.) Always nice to see a product that exhorts you to “Amuse your friends or piss people off!”

Penis-Shaped Gear Stick Cover
Why does one need a gear stick cover in the first place? But such trivialities aside, if you MUST cover your gear stick, why not use a big purple one shaped like a penis? Then you can enjoy the feeling of a soft-crushed velour cock in your hand as you shift into top gear.

The Bona Phone
Yep, it’s a phone that looks like a giant dildo. Because that’s always a good look in the living room. Instead of a ring, the phone moans and sighs in orgasm when a call comes through. It’s the world’s 1st penis phone… which means that maybe people thought of it before and just said no.

Jolly Vibe Cucumber
Why use cheap, fresh vegetables from the fridge when you can buy fake ones! Of course, your garden variety sex toy from the crisper doesn’t vibrate, and chances are it doesn’t feel as “realistically lifelike” as the rubber Jolly Vibe. There’s always the danger that you may accidentally include it in the salad, of course.

Posted by quirky in Quirky Sex